stormy--'s Diaryland Diary

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The Election Day

Election Day. How I’ve waited for this day for weeks. Months even.

Normally I’m not awaiting Election Day with the same level of excitement as a kid waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve. Although, during a typical year where I vote in person and get one of those awesome “I voted” stickers, I always do an “I got a sticker!” shimmy whenever I get back into my car after voting. There’s a lot of head bopping and hands waving in the air that is always highly entertaining to anyone who might have the misfortune to witness it. I even take pictures with my sticker and send them to my sister. And, she always sends pictures of herself with her sticker back to me. As you can see, we are simple folk who are easily amused.

But, this year, I waited for Election Day to come with such eager anticipation because I knew that after today the political advertisements will be over. No more commercials. No more political ads, post cards, and pamphlets filling up my mail box (and my shred bin). No more crazy people in big trucks decorated with over-sized flags honking wildly, yelling expletives, and causing traffic jams on the freeways. And no more political phone calls and text messages:

“Hi. This is Katie with the Democratic Party. Do you have a moment to talk about the election?”

and

“Robert here. Can we count on you to vote Republican?”

With the same amount of frustration and ire as an old man waving his fists and yelling “Get off my lawn!” at playing school children, I ask Katie and Robert, “How the hell did you get my number?!!”

Like a woman who has had two strawberry daiquiri’s, several tequila shooters, and a rum and coke on a girl’s night gone wild (true story actually), I just want to sink onto my couch, kick off my heels, unhook my bra, and simply absorb the peace and quiet of a post-Election Day.

I should clarify. A post-Election Day circa 2008. Think we can arrange that?

It’s naivete at it’s finest to think that this Election Day will simply “go gentle into that good night”. No. No matter how this election plays out, I have a feeling both candidates will “rage, rage against the dying of the light.” (Seriously, how awesome was Dylan Thomas?!) And it’s seriously going to suck looking back on these pre-election days and regarding them as the good ole days before crazy went nuclear.

So tonight when my state polls close, I’m going to snag myself a handful of peanut M&Ms, pour myself an icy glass of caffeine free Diet Pepsi, and toast the end of all of the campaigning and political propaganda. Then I will take a deep breath and get ready for what I believe will be the ‘adult’ equivalent of:

“You cheated!”
“Nah ah!”
“Uh huh!”
“Mom!!”

If only the solution was as simple as sending everyone off to bed without dinner.

*

1:43 p.m. - 2020-11-03

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